13 Funny Ways To Save Money That You Never Considered
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We all need some comic relief in these crazy times, so let’s talk about the weird and crazy ways to save money.
I am almost positive that you have never even considered trying these funny ways to save money. In fact, I’m willing to bet my firstborn son that you haven’t (if I lose this bet, the joke’s on you LOL).
All jokes aside, these really are some funny ways to save money that both make sense and work (for those of you who are skeptical). Some may call these weird or perhaps downright outrageous ways to save money.
I get it, no one clicks on a click-batey-title like “Funny Ways to Save Money…” thinking they are going to actually learn how to save money. But I guarantee you will not only walk away from this little lesson on saving money but also with a few more dollars in your wallet.
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But first, funny or not, here’s what saves me the most money for real:
- Rakuten – this is a website that pays cash back when you follow its tracking links to make online purchases. It also has a nifty refer-a-friend program that lets you give friends $30 to sign up and you get $30 when they make their first $30 purchase! And using the app doesn’t cost them an extra dime (it actually saves them money). Learn more in our Rakuten review.
- Ibotta – it’s a free app that lets you earn cash back for doing your grocery shopping! It even offers sign up incentives of up to $20 when you start using the app. Learn more about Ibotta in my full review to see how it can help you save money.
- Swagbucks – this is another company that offers cash back on eligible purchases. When you earn 300 points, you can redeem it for a $3 Visa gift card or a gift card to a store of your choice! You can also get a $5 sign-up bonus to get you started saving money right away. Read more in my review of Swagbucks.
- Raise – this is a discount gift card store. You can purchase gift cards to hundreds of popular stores at a discount. Then, turn around and use the card at face value. It ends up saving you a good chunk of change in the long run!
- Dosh – this is yet another cash back app, but it’s different from the rest. Once you install it and add your credit/debit card, it tracks all eligible purchases for you and adds your earnings to your Dosh Wallet automatically. You don’t even have to think about what to buy or review offers. It does all the work for you! The nice thing is that you can use this alongside the other cash back websites and earn money on the same purchases.
- Amazon Prime – this one is different from the rest of my real money-saving tips. You have to weigh the cost with the savings. Thankfully, you don’t have to make a decision of whether it’s worth paying for without trying it for free first!
Now that you know how I actually save the most money doing my normal shopping, let’s get to the 13 funny saving money tips that are about to make you just a little bit richer.
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Get Richer With These Funny Ways to Save Money
Make sure to keep reading because the explanation of each funny way to save money says it all.
Your husband can never do the grocery shopping
You heard me, ladies. When your man comes home and offers to do the grocery shopping, it’s a money trap. I have yet to look at a receipt after my husband returns from a grocery shopping trip and think, “Wow, he saved us a lot of money today!”
No, think name brand, eye-level shelf items being swiped into the cart in quantities of 10 single-packs (that makes me cringe). If there is a buy one get one free sale, consider the free one left behind.
Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love when my husband offers to go grocery shopping. In fact, I am an extreme introvert that rarely sees the sun. But looking at the shopping receipt after each trip makes me rethink life as I know it.
Recently, we started using Walmart Grocery to place our grocery orders online. “You order fresh groceries, Walmart does the shopping and loads your car for free.” I can easily choose the deals I want, but still have my husband pick up the order when he goes into town!
Plus, preordering our groceries keeps me from buying extra food that we don’t need. I can stick to our weekly budget every time we shop this way! Give Walmart Grocery a try and get $10 off your first order!
Related: How To Save Money Fast On A Low Income
Don’t sweep or vacuum your floors
If your first thought is “Yuck! Who doesn’t clean their floors?” then you’re probably not saving the most money possible in your home.
I have a young son and a toddler daughter; therefore I have a free, daily cleaning service, courtesy of my children throwing food everywhere and my dog cleaning up their trail.
Also hello, why would I need to buy dog food when my dog has an open smorgasbord all day every day? If it’s healthy enough for my son’s tummy, it should be fine for my dog. Am I right?
Cha-ching. Money saved!
Never fully finish the laundry
Most moms out here are already on top of this funny way to save money, but do they really know that it’s saving them money? I think not.
So I am here to tell you that it’s okay to never finish a load of laundry before the next one starts! Think about it. Who hosts parties with a couch that is constantly mounded with clean laundry? I mean, at least it’s clean laundry.
But consider how much money you can save by never hosting another party in your home. Tons.
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Go paperless at home (oh yes, completely)
Going paperless at home can save you hundreds of dollars every month. I’m not just talking about ditching paper towels, plates, and newspapers; I’m talking about ditching feminine products, baby wipes, and toilet paper.
Hey, if you’re going to make this work, you have to go all out and ditch all paper products in the home. It’s totally possible and who has these supplies when you need them most anyway? Yeah, not me.
Here are some paper replacements to help you start saving money immediately:
- Toilet paper alternative: Clear Rear
- Paper towel alternative: Bamboo Unpaper Towels
- Tissue alternative: Handkerchiefs
Stop making love
I know how this works. Some women are already on top of this little money-saving trick while others say they could never go without sex. I won’t tell you which side of the coin I am on because that’s getting a bit personal.
I will tell you however that eliminating intimacy is one of the top money saving tips in this entire list of funny ways to save money. Let me try to explain this nicely.
What does sex lead to much of the time? Or should I say, what is 100% the result of sex? Kids. Kids are the result of sex.
Each child costs about 1 million dollars over his/her lifetime. So stop having sex and save a few million bucks. You literally couldn’t save that much money any other way!
Allow the trash to be “filled to overflowing”
When the trash is “full” and you’re about to flip your top, just grab an old shoe and crush that pile of stench down as far as possible. Who cares if you have to wear a clothespin on your nose through week two of mission “don’t empty the garbage.” At least you’re saving a couple bucks on garbage pickup day (if you pay by the bag).
Start a new fad diet at least once a month
Nah, I’m not telling you to start a diet because you need to lose weight. I’m saying that when dieting we tend to buy tons of healthy food to get the ball rolling.
If you’re anything like we are just start a fad diet, buy all the healthy food, stock the refrigerator and food shelves with fresh fruit and veggies, and then watch it all go to waste as your diets crumble.
How the heck does that save money, you ask? Well, for us, if we stock our shelves with healthy food and then watch it go to waste, we kind of feel really bad about buying more food that we do like.
So for a good long time, it looks like we are fully stocked on groceries, but really we’re just eating cereal and mac n’ cheese which is about as cheap as it gets.
Burn alive or freeze to death in your sleep
If you’re struggling to pay the utility bills, then just keep the heat off in the winter and the AC off in the summer overnight. Now along with the millions of dollars you just saved by having no more kids, you’ve got to agree that the utility bill will look great next month.
Make introvert friends only
Make friends. Yes, make lots of friends! But there is only one rule when you’re trying to save money. Make sure that those new friends are introverts. That way you never have to actually go out and do things together. Because doing things means spending money!
Stop worrying about the last time you showered
Have you ever made it to Thursday and thought, have I showered yet this week? No? Oh. Me neither.
Well, if you do struggle to get in your daily shower, don’t sweat it! Literally, because then you will stink. But hey, at least you’re saving on the water bill!
Eat only what your toddler eats
If a toddler can live on the marshmallows from Lucky Charms, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and mac n’ cheese, then so can you. And if you think about it, it’s really cheap to eat only what your toddler eats. In fact, you can even eat the actual cereal that your toddler left behind after picking out all of the marshmallows. That is, if she hasn’t fed it to your dog already.
Save all the things
Having trouble decluttering your home and just letting go of the things you don’t need? Well, you’re in luck. Just keep it! If you need to use that one thing ten years down the road, you’ve saved yourself the trouble and expense of buying a new one. Clutter saved is money saved.
Live Love Laugh (it’s not what you think)
Yes, living, loving (but not having sex), and laughing is great, really! But funerals are expensive. So please don’t die because that’s a lot of money coming out of a loved one’s pocket. Just not yours, because you’d be dead.
Funny Ways to Save Money That Really Work
So what did you think of these funny ways to save money? If you have not picked up on the sarcasm yet then I’m doomed. But if you have and you can still can see how to apply some of these little changes to your life and save more money, then my mission is accomplished!
Please join in on the sarcasm and add some of your funny ways to save money to the comments below. I would love to have a good laugh!
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